Hey Joe, where you runnin with that little boy's penis in your hand...

There, I said it. If you're offended, then good. You're probably a moron too. Nobody reads this stupid blog anyway, so if I've offended someone, at least I'll know you've read my opinion.

For those of you who don't understand the reference I made in the title of this entry, I am referring to Joseph Ratzinger, who is better known as Pope Benedict the XVI. I refuse to acknowledge him as "the Pope," because, I do not believe in God, and if I did... I would most certainly refuse to believe that this "Pope" is God's representative on Earth. That is fucking absurd!

The reason I feel compelled to comment on this walking talking piece of garbage is that I am sick and tired of hearing of the "news" involving pedophilia in the Catholic Church. I thought that it was pretty well established, at least, in the USA that the Catholic Church has some problems. When I say "problems" that is the understatement of the century. It turns out that the Catholic Church has a BIG fucking problem. Their priests; who in many communities all over the world; are looked upon as spiritual, moral, and even political advisers; have a terrible habit of taking advantage of young boys. This is not a series of isolated incidents, but rather, a consistent pattern of sexual abuse committed by clergy members against young men, usually members of the church. If you're reading this, and you're surprised or appalled, then I hope you throw yourself out of a 3rd story(or higher) window. This is NOT news.

What makes this story even juicier is not the fact that Catholic priests have exhibited a consistent pattern of sexual abuse amongst their congregates, but that the Church, as an organization, has been aware of it the entire time. They've even aided and abetted their own clergy members by moving them from parish to parish, when accusations of sexual abuse have been raised against local parishes. Again, I must emphasize that this is nothing new. Nothing new, and very well documented. Mind you, the points I am making and the conclusions I am drawing are STRICTLY my OPINION.

What I don't get, is why is ole Nazi Youth Joe Ratzinger now coming out and condemning the sexual abuse he was obviously a part of... albeit indirectly(by most accounts)? Isn't a statement by Joe Ratzinger condemning sexual abuse by Catholic priests pretty irrelevant at this point? I guess it's okay that he acknowledged it, but come on. What a fucking retard. It gets even better too. It turns out that some Vatican documents have surfaced from when ole Joe was a Cardinal in Germany(I think... I'm not checking my facts... yet) where he approved and condoned moving accused priests out of parishes where they had been accused of sexual abuse. And what about ole Cardinal Bernard Law, who was the piece of shit in the USA who simply moved these scumbags from parish to parish where they were free to unleash their mayhem on the youth of other unsuspecting parishes? Correct me if I'm wrong, but he is living in the Vatican, and is supposedly a "respected" member of the child mol.. I mean Church in Rome. Isn't that silly? What about all of the ruined lives? The victims? And the Church doesn't even pay taxes, but members of the congregation are supposed to tithe? What is it, 15%? I'm not sure anymore... Does anybody see anything wrong with this picture?

What's even more enraging, is that you have "Good Catholics" and innocents defending the church. They claim that the church does more good than bad. That is a point I would not argue. I understand that any church, or support group, for that matter is probably a good thing for some people. Support groups for the most part can play very important roles in peoples' lives who have had terrible things happen, and want and need the support of others to help them get back on their feet. However, these "defenders of the faith" refuse to acknowledge the devastation their "faithful leaders" have wreaked upon others. Think of any other organization where the leadership was made aware of a sizable percentage of their employees engaging in not only unethical and illegal, but immoral and devastating actions against the very people whom they are supposed to protect and watch out for. That would be an organization that would NOT be tolerated by the public, as it should not. Well, that organization is the Catholic Church. And they don't even pay taxes! Where is the blood on the streets?

What is more irritating is that they're continued to be looked at as some sort of moral authority. It's ridiculous! That's like asking Charlie Manson, "Do you think there should be sentencing reform for murderers? Re-fucking-tarded!

Another note: I understand that the Church used to basically rule the world, but if we were to quantify the power of the church over the last 1000 years, the low point would be now. Given that downward trend, it is only logical to conclude that the influence of the Catholic Church will continue a sharp decline until, the influence of this once great organization and world power is only an almost forgotten memory in the minds of an aging generation of people who has yet to be born.

I want to emphasize that I do not hate Catholics, or church goers, or do gooders, or anyone who "believes". You believe what you want to believe and live your life. I will do the same. I just want to call "bullshit" on an organization that is supposed to look out for people less fortunate, spread goodwill to all, and live up to the standards they want every one of their followers to adhere to.

FUCK YOU JOE

EAT SHIT AND DIE BERNARD

goodnight everybody,

LJ

A Serious Life Message from Conan O'brien?

This is another video that is old news. Conan O'brien gives his farewell speech on his final night of hosting the tonight show. He hosted it for 7 months while Jay Leno moved to the 10:00 spot... a somewhat risky move for NBC. The politics of this decision by NBC, and the subsequent public backlash and support for Conan and Jay that followed were very interesting and certainly deserve some worthy commentary. However, that is not what I want to comment on. For those of you that watched this speech live, or have watched the video/speech afterwards, it is certainly a memorable speech. It was kind out of character for Conan to get kind of sentimental and show emotion, but he did it anyways.

What touched me about this speech, and is the reason I am so fond of it, is the part, where he speaks to "fans and viewers of the show." It is in the last 30 seconds if you're reading this and don't have the patience to watch a 4:30 youtube video. He says something to the effect of, "If you work real hard, and you are a kind person," then you will go far. That is such a simple, but effective message. You can tell that he truly believes it because it looks like he's fighting tears at certain moments in his speech. In fact, I would go as far as to say that that moment on TV was one of the top 10 greatest moments in TV history.

The reason I can relate to this, is that I've been unemployed for about 7 months now. It is most certainly not by choice, and I've been actively seeking employment ever since I was laid off. The competitive job market and the ridiculous stuff one has to do to even get an interview these days can feel real demoralizing at times. However, I've always kept a positive attitude, and really feel like I've lived up to what Conan mentioned. I've worked real hard, and I ALWAYS treat people how I would like to be treated, which is with the utmost kindness (even telemarketers and door to door solicitors).

I guess I really just like that message. It is such a short and simple message, and strangely enough, I've never seen that kind of message promoted elsewhere. "Work Hard and Be Kind," and you will go far. It really makes sense, and is a great philosophy to go by. I think that it will truly get one far, although it may not be as simple as I am putting it.

I hope that if you read this, you will be touched by those words and always remember in your heart, that if you work hard, and are a kind person, good things will come to you.

I live by that mantra, and couldn't prove them wrong, even if I wanted.

Buzz Aldrin: Badass Motherfucker

Alright, I know that this is nothing new, but this video is one of my favorites. When is the last time you really wanted to punch someone in the face for acting like an asshole and getting in your face? It reminds me of anytime I hear a certain friend start repeating the things he has heard on Rush Limbaugh.

I believe that this case actually went to court and was thrown out by the judge. It seems the gentleman accusing Buzz of being a big fat liar provoked him enough to warrant a punch in the face.

I guess the legal system worked in this particular case.

24: Is it me or does this season suck?

Alright, I have been a huge fan of 24 since one of my former roommates turned me onto it during the 5th Season. To me, Jack Bauer is a great example of the ultimate American bad ass hero. He does whatever it takes to get the job done... Whatever. He'll torture terrorists, threaten to cut out eyes, and is just all around kick ass. So I've been trying to figure out, why is the current season of 24 just not as good as previous seasons?

I've made a few observations.

First, there's Renee Walker, the FBI agent (or former FBI agent). She is a hot little redhead, who is masquerading as a super tough FBI agent. In this season, her character even had some ties to the Russian Mafia. Apparently the writers at 24 thought that they could write her in as having served undercover in the Russian Mafia for a number of years. Yeah, that's believable. Now, I could see her as a stripper in a Russian mafia owned club, but having her carry weapons, participate in crime, and conduct other nefarious behavior just sounds silly to me. And she plays her character so seriously, so gritty... Like the last season where her character was introduced was her freshman year after having graduated from daytime TV (soap operas). Don't get me wrong, she is gorgeous, and I'd love to see what she looks like in a bikini (or less), but if I had to picture her at the FBI, it would be as a secretary fetching coffee for some sort of assistant to the assistant. Does that make me sexist?

Second, is the blond chic that works for CTU. I don't even know her name, but I know that I hate her character. I get that she's the villain, and we're all supposed to hate her, but I just think her whole story sucks. So she is such a great con artist that she fooled CTU (the fictional equivalent of maybe the NSA or other clandestine intelligence agencies) into hiring her? Then we have to suffer through the storyline of her basehead ex-boyfriend who tracks her down and blackmails her into helping him steal money. The worst part was that she went along with it. Like that is believable. Also, she just has a look like she's been around the block.... if you know what I mean. Maybe that is why she was cast as the villain who has infiltrated CTU. Oh well. Blond Chic from 24, I think you suck.

Third is obviously the casting of Freddie Prinze Jr. First off, who the hell is Freddie Prinze Sr., and why do we care? I haven't seen this guy since he was in a series of teen movies in the late nineties. Now we have to watch him on 24 and suffer through is awful tough guy Brooklyn accent. I'm going to go ahead and make a prediction that his character is going to sacrifice himself to save Jack, who will in turn save the day. He just seems misplaced on 24, and I look forward to the episode where his character dies. Next time hire Zack Morris. He would've done a way better job, and he could probably use the work.

Lastly, is President Allison Taylor. You are the worst fictional TV president ever. You are a dumb cunt and you would never get elected. Unfortunately I can't remember some of the dopey things the writers have written for her, but every time she shows up, it makes me cringe. I'll have to blog about her after watching an episode so I can make some specific references of why her character sucks.

Well, those are just a few of my insights. I guess I just miss the days when I would finish watching 24 and want to travel a week ahead in the future to see the next episode. I guess those were the good old days. Maybe the writers just suck this season? Who knows? Hopefully this will be the last season, even though if they make another one I will be sure to follow.

The Greatest Band Ever

This isn't so much a post or rant, but rather an exclamation! Umphrey's McGee is the greatest band ever, and this is just one reason why.

the R-word

Recently, it has come to my attention that Sarah Palin has referred to the word, "retard," as the, "R-Word," like it is a naughty word, like the word, "Fuck." The funny part is that the media, and other pundits who advocate and encourage this form of political correctness are in fact retards themselves.

Well stupids, political correctness of this magnitude is only for retards! Yes, FUCKING RETARDS!

Given the above, it is only logical for one to conclude that, "if you use the term, "R-Word," then you are, in fact, a fucking retard!"

See you in hell assholes!

Good Day Sir/Madam...

23 Skidoo

So, I've named my blog, renamed my blog, renamed it again, changed it, changed it again, and finally settled on a name. I'm not even sure that it really makes sense, but it sort of makes sense to me. For some reason, I've had the phrase, "23 skidoo," on my brain. I think I heard it on the radio sometime in the past 6 months, and thought it was hilarious. In fact, I'll provide the wikipedia definition (which is always reliable...):

23 skidoo (sometimes 23 skiddoo) is an American slang phrase popularized in the early twentieth century, first appearing before World War I and becoming popular in the Roaring Twenties. It generally refers to leaving quickly, being forced to leave quickly by someone else, or taking advantage of a propitious opportunity to leave, that is, "getting [out] while the getting's good." The exact origin of the phrase is uncertain.

23 skidoo has been described as "perhaps the first truly national fad expression and one of the most popular fad expressions to appear in the U.S," to the extent that "Pennants and arm-bands at shore resorts, parks, and county fairs bore either [23] or the word 'Skiddoo.'"^[1]

Yeah, so it is an old phrase from the twenties, back when smoking lucky strike cigarettes were good for you... even according to doctors... and heroin had been introduced only ten years earlier as a safe non addictive alternative to other painkillers on the market.

Oh, and the, "...and Tyler too!" is actually the second part of an old presidential slogan from the 1840s where William Henry Harrison and John Tyler were going up against Martin Van Buren (infamous leader of the Van Buren Boys of NYC). The actual slogan is, "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too." I think that it sounds pretty snappy. Check it out, and if you're curious, just google it.

So, 23 Skidoo and Tyler too, doesn't really mean anything. I really just like the sound of the words, and love to speak those words to my dog, like it means something... which it does not. I would love to have some sort of deep meaningful explanation of what those phrases mean, and why they're together, but I just don't. They are random and meaningless. Just like the career of a priest or clergyman.